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Loneliness: A Blessing in Disguise

Lately I have been thinking about loneliness and happiness.  Especially during the holidays and start of a new year 2020.  Looking through social media and having conversations with friends and acquittances, I realized a good number of people are unhappy and lonely. Especially today, when divorce is rampant and many families are falling apart. I think most people want to be happy and in a loving relationship. However, the world today, at times, is disappointing, harsh and requires all of us to exert extra effort to find our “happy place”.

Since I found myself single again, I have gone from wanting to be in a relationship to moving to a deserted island with my daughter and living whatever is left in peace and quiet.  I find that many people in their 40’s feel the same.  By this age, most of us have experienced the workforce, marriage and parenthood with their many joys and tribulations.  We are grateful for our new found wisdom but also fatigued, drained and at times frustrated.

As a result of these plethora of emotions, I find myself in a constant need for balance.  As I’m getting older, I realize that having alone time (away from a relationship or just not being in one) is actually a blessing in disguise.  It is the opportunity to be me, myself and I.  No explanations needed to be given and justifying actions to myself only. At times, I love the feeling of having to clean when I feel like it, watch the TV shows I want to watch, in short, enjoy the moments of isolation and tranquility. 

For a while, after I became a widow, the thought of being alone scared me a bit.  It was so foreign and nerve racking.  But I feel blessed to have learned that being alone or feeling lonely at times is an opportunity for personal growth, reflection and gratitude. It’s a very personal feeling that some deal with better than others.  I’m finally fine just being me. Me is defined as accepting my past, present and future.  It’s freeing knowing I’m ok being in a relationship, being my independent self within one or just not having one at all.

As we begin this new year 2020, we all have a daily choice of investing in our own happiness no matter what our relationship status is or being miserable. Learning self love, self respect, self worth and self inner joy.  Note that if you choose the former, you will make others happy as well and attract positive people into your life.  This will facilitate the growth of a loving and healthy relationship if you choose to be in one.

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